Second Night: Part Two
Tuesday, July 10, 2012 @ 2:42 AM | 0 comment(s)
While walking home, I asked Marc a question:
“What do you think of a person who talks a lot.. about world history for example?”
“I wouldn’t mind, but it usually depends.”
“oh.. but what if that is what she really is?”
“Depends.. are you talking about yourself?”
“uhh…. Yeah.”
“hahaha.. bro-fist.”
And I bro-fist him.
“So why did you ask that kind of question?” he asked.
“uhh.. I just carried away a while ago and I don’t know maybe you think weirdly of me.” (actually I’m afraid of rejection but it is better to know it earlier.)
“huh? You being weird? Nah… Why do you think so?”
“ because I said about Bermuda Triangle…”
“I didn’t notice it.”
“Because Janelle kicked me before I continue to talk about it and I felt bad and I cried.”
“So you really did… Hey Janelle!” he shouted.
“wa-ait stop! Don’t, I’ll tell her anyways, not now… Bea started it also.” I said.
“Oh.”
“It’s just that… the way I am now wasn’t actually the way I was before.” I said.
“Rose,are you gonna ride home?” Janelle asked. It’s time to say goodbye.
I want to talk to him… but I was hesitant at first and then when I decided to say goodbye..he came with us and seated beside me.
“Before, I was lonely and shy to guys… I like to wear Chuck taylors and hats.. and sometimes I go vintage if I want to be girly.” I shared, I suddenly realized I let my guard down to him.
“Really? That’s cool. Bea, did you see her wearing hats?” He asked Bea
Bea shook her head.
“But she saw me wearing Chuck Taylors.”
Bea nodded.
“wow.. cool.” He laughed.
“So yeah, if you wouldn’t mind me pouring out,I was different and had a low esteem.. and Bea and my friends tried to change me to become a better person, then came this silly dare.. and yeah I realized that if it’s me then it’s me… I couldn’t change it.. it is who I am.. you know, a weirdo geek.”
“ Weirdo huh.. can’t believe it.”
“We just see each other for only two days, you don’t know me yet.”
“Then talk..”
“Talk about what?”
“Anything.”
“It’ll just come out naturally.”
We talked this as discreetly as possible.. but my friends conceive it in another way, obviously I was holding Marc’s arm for comfort.. what bad move I made, I even let my guard down and be emotional, Gosh why did I trust Marc that easily?
Janelle went home and so did Bea, Me and Marc were left out on the streets and I am desperate to go home.
“waaaaaaaaaa… I have an exam tomorrow, looks like I have to cheat just to pass.” He ranted.
“I missed the last seminar. What exam?”
“Business and Finance”
“Sorry didn’t know that.. I had basic accounting and TQM.”
“Yeah, TQM…”
“I remember that I reported a very interesting topic about being leader.”
“Really? Edward Demings started it right?”
“Yeah.. I dunno but if he is, still the Japanese are the ones who are good at it.”
“yeah..”
“ ‘cause they care for quality and not quantity, they’re perfectionists and CEO’s really care for their employees, I think TQM flourished in Japan when the emperor adapt machines during Industrial Revolution. I remember watching The Last Samurai and somehow I could relate to it.”
“You should be my classmate. Can you help me with my TQM project?”
“Oh sure, but those are my crazy theories, but I could try.. do you have my number?”
He reached for his phone but placed it back inside his pocket.
“I’ll just asked Janelle for your number, I’ll text you later.” He said.
“Sure.”
Finally, the jeepney came into a halt and I had my chance to ride home.
“Goodbye Marc, take care.”
“Take care, thanks for the gift, I’ll text you later.”
After that I feel better because I let all of my feelings out, I feel bad because I trusted him right away and that I might be rejected because I lower my guard. I don’t know what to do, I’m confused, I’m filled with mixed emotions; Sometimes I feel happy because I changed into a better person and I feel bad because this is not what I wanted to happen: to trust another guy, to be open to him and just like my friends, Kevin, Timmy, Rhemar, Gian, George, Cerwin, Marvie and now Marc, men who just come and go.
Maybe all I ever wanted was a best boy bud; Kevin and Timmy and of course Soundy my high school guy friends. George who I still had communication with.. Rhemar, who I treat as my twin brother because I say so…
And now Marc.
Maybe it’s good to have girl friends instead of guys.
I don’t know what Marc’s thinking of me now.
“What do you think of a person who talks a lot.. about world history for example?”
“I wouldn’t mind, but it usually depends.”
“oh.. but what if that is what she really is?”
“Depends.. are you talking about yourself?”
“uhh…. Yeah.”
“hahaha.. bro-fist.”
And I bro-fist him.
“So why did you ask that kind of question?” he asked.
“uhh.. I just carried away a while ago and I don’t know maybe you think weirdly of me.” (actually I’m afraid of rejection but it is better to know it earlier.)
“huh? You being weird? Nah… Why do you think so?”
“ because I said about Bermuda Triangle…”
“I didn’t notice it.”
“Because Janelle kicked me before I continue to talk about it and I felt bad and I cried.”
“So you really did… Hey Janelle!” he shouted.
“wa-ait stop! Don’t, I’ll tell her anyways, not now… Bea started it also.” I said.
“Oh.”
“It’s just that… the way I am now wasn’t actually the way I was before.” I said.
“Rose,are you gonna ride home?” Janelle asked. It’s time to say goodbye.
I want to talk to him… but I was hesitant at first and then when I decided to say goodbye..he came with us and seated beside me.
“Before, I was lonely and shy to guys… I like to wear Chuck taylors and hats.. and sometimes I go vintage if I want to be girly.” I shared, I suddenly realized I let my guard down to him.
“Really? That’s cool. Bea, did you see her wearing hats?” He asked Bea
Bea shook her head.
“But she saw me wearing Chuck Taylors.”
Bea nodded.
“wow.. cool.” He laughed.
“So yeah, if you wouldn’t mind me pouring out,I was different and had a low esteem.. and Bea and my friends tried to change me to become a better person, then came this silly dare.. and yeah I realized that if it’s me then it’s me… I couldn’t change it.. it is who I am.. you know, a weirdo geek.”
“ Weirdo huh.. can’t believe it.”
“We just see each other for only two days, you don’t know me yet.”
“Then talk..”
“Talk about what?”
“Anything.”
“It’ll just come out naturally.”
We talked this as discreetly as possible.. but my friends conceive it in another way, obviously I was holding Marc’s arm for comfort.. what bad move I made, I even let my guard down and be emotional, Gosh why did I trust Marc that easily?
Janelle went home and so did Bea, Me and Marc were left out on the streets and I am desperate to go home.
“waaaaaaaaaa… I have an exam tomorrow, looks like I have to cheat just to pass.” He ranted.
“I missed the last seminar. What exam?”
“Business and Finance”
“Sorry didn’t know that.. I had basic accounting and TQM.”
“Yeah, TQM…”
“I remember that I reported a very interesting topic about being leader.”
“Really? Edward Demings started it right?”
“Yeah.. I dunno but if he is, still the Japanese are the ones who are good at it.”
“yeah..”
“ ‘cause they care for quality and not quantity, they’re perfectionists and CEO’s really care for their employees, I think TQM flourished in Japan when the emperor adapt machines during Industrial Revolution. I remember watching The Last Samurai and somehow I could relate to it.”
“You should be my classmate. Can you help me with my TQM project?”
“Oh sure, but those are my crazy theories, but I could try.. do you have my number?”
He reached for his phone but placed it back inside his pocket.
“I’ll just asked Janelle for your number, I’ll text you later.” He said.
“Sure.”
Finally, the jeepney came into a halt and I had my chance to ride home.
“Goodbye Marc, take care.”
“Take care, thanks for the gift, I’ll text you later.”
After that I feel better because I let all of my feelings out, I feel bad because I trusted him right away and that I might be rejected because I lower my guard. I don’t know what to do, I’m confused, I’m filled with mixed emotions; Sometimes I feel happy because I changed into a better person and I feel bad because this is not what I wanted to happen: to trust another guy, to be open to him and just like my friends, Kevin, Timmy, Rhemar, Gian, George, Cerwin, Marvie and now Marc, men who just come and go.
Maybe all I ever wanted was a best boy bud; Kevin and Timmy and of course Soundy my high school guy friends. George who I still had communication with.. Rhemar, who I treat as my twin brother because I say so…
And now Marc.
Maybe it’s good to have girl friends instead of guys.
I don’t know what Marc’s thinking of me now.
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