I’m a mess.

I don’t know how to pull myself altogether. I’m lost, I’m tired, I want to be free from this burden.

For two weeks, I’ve been suffering from low blood pressure, even if I’m on a normal level but it didn’t prove whether my hemoglobin also dropped to its abnormal state. For two weeks, I feel less of myself, not focused, not on great spirits.

I couldn’t find myself to live on. Almost everyone noticed my weight loss, all those attention started to kill me.

I don’t really know what to do.

Sometimes, I want to sleep and not wake up, just stay on the “make believe” world that I imagined.

School’s started to put a lot on pressure, I even had a hard time waking up, not being tardy and work as a Student Assistant. When I got home, I have to go through a lot of reprimanding from my father, why I go home late, why I neglected my duties as a household maiden and not taking care of his chickens.

The next day, I saw Georgina, my beloved kitten, died on the sidewalk.

It’s really a great loss, for me, she’s the only pet that I could tickle her stomach without complaining…. And giving her a bath like it’s nothing. She’s my sunshine: the one I played with if I’m tired and the one who makes me laugh and realize that I am a caring person.

Now, I’m left with Martin, and her only skill is to talk to me and understand everything that I say.

Everyday I arrived home late, because I spend time playing online games and watching anime just to cheer me up.

But those efforts were wasted.

I don’t know what my inspiration now, lucky for kat is that, she has her family to depend upon, and a family for her to realize that she’s all that they’re hoping for. Somehow, my dreams were pathetic, and I have to realize that I should look at the reality.

I’m hopeless..

Right now, I really need a shoulder to cry on.