Crazy Holidays
Wednesday, December 26, 2012 @ 12:33 AM | 0 comment(s)
I thought I would have a simple and a wonderful Christmas
this year…
…But as usual, it is crazy.
Turns out, father wasn't going to celebrate Christmas with
me, for the reason that I refused to come with him to celebrate Christmas at
his girlfriend’s family residence. Another, I promised myself to serve the
choir this Christmas season because maybe I wouldn't be of presence in the
season of Lent. Morning, when I got home from the mic-check-test at the Church,
dad informed me that my Aunt and a family friend, Mrs. Lilia died.
As usual, I turned off my humanity just not to be too
emotional, when we visited her to mourn at the family’s residence, dad cried
with her living husband. He’s emotional because during the times when he and my
mom got separated, Mrs. Lilia gave him numerous advice and acted as his
confidant.
I too, was a regular guest inside their house, when Mrs.
Lilia was still alive and walking, she would told me to come anytime and eat if
my father left me at home unattended.
Later in the afternoon, Mom visited and as usual, I turned
her away, I’m not yet in the mood to talk to her even if she was the only
parent present at that time.
Evening came and my eldest brother called. He ranted about
dad leaving me alone for Christmas just like what he did to him before. I told
him that I’m alright, that I’m used to being all alone, but then he insisted
that I am not alright. I assured him that I have a company of my kitten, will
be serving the mass with the Choir (who are also my beloved family in some
other way.) and will be staying at Liane’s house (as usual I came over, ‘cause
it’s the only place I can go to whenever I’m alone and in need of a family
atmosphere.). He even felt guilty that he should’ve move me to his home if this
happened, and he got really, really worried of what might happen to me.
Many times, I said to him that I am fine, and that I’ll get
used to it, that it’s just a thing to get over because one day I’ll be leaving
abroad and be independent. He said that I should not get used to it and that he
said that I should not do the same thing to my future family. “I have better
plans for them” I said; satisfied that I
will call him when I reached Liane’s house, I went to the Church and serve,
turns out, I got unexpected gifts from my choirmates (although they gave everyone, but the thought
is still there. :D) . When I got to Liane’s house, I got a surprise gift too,
but most especially, I am thankful that I celebrated Christmas with them this
year; to my surprise, I even learned how to cut ham into thin slices.
Dealing with loneliness is what each of us are fighting for,
struggling to overcome its torture, but as we come over it, it makes us
stronger and still in hope of a better simple life ahead.
P.S: a tip whenever you feel lonely: Pray, letting all your
troubles and heavy burdens lay up to His hands and remembering that God is in
our midst, will make you feel comforted and burdens light.
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